婚姻，爱情与自由Marriage,Love and Freedom

你会问婚姻与自由可以兼得吗？

如果你把婚姻不当一回事，你就是自由的；否则，是不可能的。把婚姻当作一场游戏吧！给婚姻加点幽默吧，但不要把它当真，因为婚姻是你人生中必经的阶段，它仅仅是一部虚构的小说而已。

但是，愚蠢的人们将其信以为真。我也看到过有的人只是因为小说的悲剧性故事而满腔热泪的读着。电影院就很好地利用了这一点。闭了灯，在场的所有关注都可以享受电影，尽情的哭笑和悲喜。打开灯就达不到这一效果了。开灯后观众会怎么想呢？他们会一目了然的指出屏幕上除了投影的图片外什么也没有，不大一会儿，就什么也不记得了。

我们生活中也有类似的事情。它们中的许多都被我们幽默地加以对待，但我们也会严肃地对待的，正是由此，我们惹上了不少的麻烦。

第一件事就是，你为什么不结婚呢？你爱着某个人，和某个人住在一起，这是你的基本权利。你能和他人一起住，也可以爱着某个人。婚姻人人都可以得到的，你所需要的仅是一名牧师。如果你欲进入社会，同时又不显出了独立和清高，那就就得使你的妻子或丈夫明白婚姻只是一场游戏而已。

“千万不要把婚姻当成一回事。我会像婚前一样保持独立，你也一样；我不会介入你的生活，你也休想介入打乱我的生活，但这样做不是使它变成一种负担。春天一逝，我们的蜜月就此终结，我们没有装蜜月仍然存在的必要。虽然彼此说着感情深厚，珍视，但，毕竟春天已逝。我们的爱已走到了尽头，尽管有些伤感，又不得不分离，因为呆在一起已不是一种爱的表达。如果你爱我，我要离开你，因为我的爱在此刻已不再是爱，而是一种怜悯；如果你爱我，我要离开你，因为你的爱在此刻已不再是爱，而转而成为一种禁锢。”

爱是人生最高的价值体现，因为它不受限于繁文缛节。爱于自由是密不可分的，你不能任选其一。人要知道爱是充满着自由的爱，爱是时刻释放自由的爱。如果你不给你爱的人自由，那么她呢？给与自由虽算不上什么，但却是爱的表白。

无论你婚与否，请记住：所有的婚姻都是骗人的----仅仅是为了社交方便而已。婚姻不是使彼此相互束缚，而是帮助彼此互相成长。成长需要自由，然而，在过去的年代里，所有的文明都不知道没有自由，爱就不复存在。

你看到日光下的小鸟在飞翔，它看起来美极了。你经不住诱惑，将它抓住并关在金丝笼里。你会觉得笼里的鸟还是原来的那只吗？表面上看起来并无两样，然则不是，因为天上飞的那只享受着无尽的自由，笼里的这只呢？这只金丝笼对你来说可能十分珍贵，而小鸟却一眼看出它一无是处；自由飞翔才是它惟一的宝物。自由对于人类来说也是同等的重要。

You are asking, "Is it possible to be married and to be free?"

If you take marriage non-seriously, then you can be free. If you take it seriously,then freedom is impossible. Take marriage just as a game -- it is a game. Have a little sense of humor, that it is a role you are playing on the stage of life; but it is not something that belongs to existence or has any reality -- it is a fiction.
   But people are so stupid that they even start taking fiction for reality. I have seen people reading fiction with tears in their eyes, because in the fiction things are going so tragically. It is a very good device in the movies that they put the lights off, so everybody can enjoy the movie, laugh, cry, be sad, be happy.

If there was light it would be a little difficult -- what will others think? And they know perfectly well that the screen is empty -- there is nobody; it is just a projected picture. But they forget it completely.
    And the same has happened with our lives. Many things which are simply to be taken humorously, we take so seriously -- and from that seriousness begins our problem.

In the first place, why should you get married? You love someone, live with someone -- it is part of your basic rights. You can live with someone, you can love someone.
Marriage is not something that happens in heaven, it happens here, through the crafty priests. But if you want to join the game with society and don't want to stand alone and aloof, you make it clear to your wife or to your husband that this marriage is just a game:

"Never take it seriously. I will remain as independent as I was before marriage, and you will remain as independent as you were before marriage. Neither I am going to interfere in your life, nor are you going to interfere in my life; we will live as two friends together, sharing our joys, sharing our freedom -- but not becoming a burden on each other. And any moment we feel that the spring has passed, the honeymoon is over, we will be sincere enough not to go on pretending, but to say to each other that we loved much -- and we will remain grateful to each other forever, and the days of love will haunt us in our memories, in our dreams, as golden -- but the spring is over. Our paths have come to a point, where although it is sad, we have to part, because now, living together is not a sign of love. If I love you, I will leave you the moment I see my love has become a misery to you. If you love me, you will leave me the moment you see that your love is creating an imprisonment for me."
  Love is the highest value in life: It should not be reduced to stupid rituals. And love and freedom go together -- you cannot choose one and leave the other. A man who knows freedom is full of love, and a man who knows love is always willing to give freedom.

If you cannot give freedom to the person you love, to whom can you give freedom? Giving freedom is nothing but trusting. Freedom is an expression of love.
So whether you are married or not, remember, all marriages are fake -- just social conveniences. Their purpose is not to imprison you and bind you to each other; their purpose is to help you to grow with each other. But growth needs freedom; and in the past, all the cultures have forgotten that without freedom, love dies.

You see a bird on the wing in the sun, in the sky, and it looks so beautiful. Attracted by its beauty, you can catch the bird and put it in a golden cage.

Do you think it is the same bird? Superficially, yes, it is the same bird who was flying in the sky; but deep down it is not the same bird -- because where is its sky, where is its freedom?
   This golden cage may be valuable to you; it is not valuable to the bird. For the bird, to be free in the sky is the only valuable thing in life. And the same is true about human beings.